I am laughing to myself right now because I was just telling a friend how I always seem to rediscover my blog in February of every new year. Maybe it has become second nature for my body to realize I should write down what I am feeling and it always happens in February. Who knows.
It's a new year and a new Sarah. I feel like I have been brought back to life. No joke. Last year was definitely the lowest point in my life so far. I wouldn't have made it through last year, especially the summer, if it weren't for my family and my friends. I learned the true meaning of friend last year and I am so grateful for every single one of them. They helped me realize that I AM strong and I AM beautiful even if I always questioned it. My family was, has, and will forever be my rock and I still can't believe that they are mine. I have no words to express how much they mean to me, especially during the time when I was so down and so lost. I could hug them forever if I could.
I feel free. I feel alive. I feel like I finally know who I am.
I know what I want from life. I know what I love. I know what makes me happy. I know what doesn't. I know when to speak my feelings. I know when not to. I know who cares for me. I know who doesn't. I know that I have been given this life for a reason. I know it's time for me to use it. I know not to question myself anymore. I know that whatever happens in the future, it's for a reason. I know that even if I don't think its fair...it will be soon enough.
When I was at the lowest point possible, someone very close to me said something that I will never forget - something that put a new perspective on things for me. I will leave you with it. Read it and take it as you will.
*After a while you learn the subtle difference between holding a hand and chaining a soul, and you learn that love doesn't mean leaning and company doesn't mean security, and you begin to learn that kisses aren't contracts and presents aren't promises, and you begin to accept your defeats with your head up and your eyes open, with the grace of an adult, not the grief of a child. You learn to build all your roads on today because tomorrow's ground is too uncertain for plans. After a while you learn that even sunshine burns if you get too much. So, plant your own garden and decorate your own soul, instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers. And you learn that you really can endure... that you really are strong, and you really do have worth. You make your life. You make your destiny. You make yourself.*
Song of the day: "End Where I Begin" ~ The Script
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
2 comments:
woot woot sarah is back in action.
words would be lame to express how happy I am... I (we) are so lucky to have you, and can't wait to see the garden and how much more beautiful it becomes as it grows...
Post a Comment